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von Hottie’s Guide to Attending Multiple Parties in One Evening

It’s the holiday season and everyone wants to celebrate, which means you have to celebrate with them. What do you do when you have several invitations and only one evening? von Hottie, a pinup and guru who experiences this problem on a weekly basis, offers some tips on maximizing these jolly holidays. 

PRE-GAME

• Strategize. Do not take three shots of Patron before you leave the house (unless you have social anxiety and need some liquid courage just so you can get out the door), but do have a strategy for your evening. If you have five invitations, and three of them are from hosts who typically retire early, you’re going to have to decline some invitations. What you’re looking for is a broad spectrum of experiences from people with varying levels of stamina. Sorry, but it’s true. Typically, it’s best to front load your social schedule with parties that involve children (because they’ll end earlier) or parties thrown by your closest friends. That way, if you’re having too much fun and miss the later parties, you’re not offending your best buddies, just the people you don’t really like anyways.
• RSVP. Please, for the love of all that is buxom and sparkly, let your hosts know whether or not you’ll be there. It’s also polite, since you know you’ll be leaving for other engagements, to say something along the lines of, “Your party sounds wonderful and I can’t wait to see you. It’s a popular evening, so I hope you’ll forgive me if I can’t stay all night. You know how it is during the holiday season …” Or, if it’s a party you’re planning to attend on the later side, say, “I’m so excited for your party. Since you really know how to throw a party, I hope you don’t mind if I show up on the later side - ready to jump right in!”
• Work from the outside in. Do yourself a favor by starting with the parties that happen the furthest from your home and end with the ones in your neighborhood. That way, by the end of the night, it’ll be no problem getting home. Also, it increases your chances of accomplishing your entire social schedule if you’re simply “making your way home.”

THE BIG NIGHT

• Eat! Even though you’ll inevitably be snacking throughout the night, make sure you eat something solid before you leave the house. Only amateurs begin big social expeditions on an empty stomach. If you’re taking advice from von Hottie, obviously you are not an amateur. Do yourself another favor by leaving a large bottle of water by your nightstand. I don’t care if you sleep with your shoes and party pants still on, just drink some water before you pass out.
• Transportation. Be prepared with a list of all of your parties and their locations. Know in advance how you plan to get between parties, whether it’s public transportation, taxis or carpooling with friends. Don’t drink and drive - it’s so unbecoming.
• Host/Hostess Gifts. It’s only polite to bring a bottle of wine with you to a party, but if you’ve got multiple parties, well, you need multiple bottles of wine. That’s when a multi-bottle wine tote comes in handy. I won’t judge you on your taste in wine, as long as it’s bubbly.
• Bring Reinforcements. Carry a bottle of water so you can hydrate as you travel between parties and Ladies, stash a pair of flats in your purse. These two things will greatly increase your stamina.
• Game Face On. Stay at each party for at least an hour (more if you can swing it), but make that hour have an impact. Talk to as many people as you can, and be sure to spend some quality time with the host(s) so they won’t feel neglected when you have to move to the next event.
• We Are Only Human. Weather, traffic, unfortunate circumstances, ex-boyfriends, over-imbibing - all these things happen, and they can all derail your social itinerary. If you can, call ahead to let the host know they shouldn’t expect you, especially if the cause of your absence is an ex-flame. At times like these, you always need a friend to talk some better sense into you.

THE MORNING AFTER

• Re-Hydrate. Hopefully, you remembered to drink that super-helpful bottle of water on your night stand. But if you didn’t, drink it immediately upon waking. Hydrate as much as possible through out the day. Congratulate yourself on completing your social marathon.
• Crisis-Management. If your plans did get derailed, or you fear you may have committed a big social faux pas, deal with it only after you’ve had coffee and breakfast. If you wake up with your faux-pas sleeping next to you, be a champ. Offer breakfast, coffee and a clean towel -all in the generous spirit of the holiday season.
• Giving Thanks. I don’t mean the turkey kind. A handwritten note to all of the hosts of the previous night is best, but a phone call or email will suffice.

von Hottie is a pinup and guru living in New York City. Follow her on Twitter or become a fan on Facebook.

Photo by M. Carboni.