von Hottie: The Blog
05/12/2011
Graham Greene
Quote posted at 11:50
27/10/2011
If you need a costume idea, I suggest Zombie von Hottie.
Wear a bathing suit, pearls, blood and stumble around muttering, “Champ-braaaaaaaiiinnns.”
Text posted at 16:17
26/07/2011
10.5 months into The Silk Road. An ode to my aerial silks guru, my belovèd Heather. (via thefamouschronicles)
Quote posted at 00:55
NEED! I NEED! Miss Piggy’s Twitter, by the way, is the most genius thing ever.
Photo posted at 00:55
24/06/2011
Building aerial sequences.
Video posted at 17:21
12/06/2011
I’m giving an aerial silks recital in September.
What song should I use in my performance - all genres welcome?
Text posted at 22:57
My favorite yoga teacher looks hot at the Tony Awards. Alec Baldwin is not my yoga teacher.
Photo posted at 22:54
08/06/2011
The Silk Road - Chapter 8
Text posted at 12:41
02/06/2011
Photo posted at 01:11
01/06/2011
In honor of Marilyn Monroe’s birthday, I present to you her workout routine, as told to Pageant Magazine in 1952. If only Marilyn were still alive. We could tra-la-la down The Silk Road together.
Photo posted at 16:14
28/05/2011
You should go to the Brewers PicNYC on Governor’s Island on Sunday and Monday. von Hottie will be there with her Station of Awesome on Sunday. Drop by for a photo with the traveling von Hottie cutout. Mention that you saw this on Tumblr and I’ll give you an extra vondom. Love, von Hottie.
Photo posted at 19:32
25/05/2011
My new trick for getting myself to do things I don’t want to do:
Put the word “champagne” next to it. See: Take vitamins champagne, bedtime champagne, pay bills champagne, don’t order another glass of champagne champagne….
Text posted at 17:33
» "I have a beach body. It's this one, the one I take to the beach . . ."
Let’s all take our beach bodies to the beach!
Link posted at 00:50
20/05/2011
Photo posted at 20:16
Just another night in the life of Her Royal von Hottness.
Last night, I went to the Public Theater’s opening night party for Knickerbocker, which was, big surprise, at Knickerbocker. There were weird hors d’oeuvres that were foie gras wrapped in cotton candy and a huge celebrity clusterfuck, including Sarah Jessica Parker(!!), Marisa Tomei, Julianna Margulies, Josh Hamilton, Josh Charles, Martha Plimpton, Paul Dano, Amanda Peet, Peter Dinklage, Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts. At some point, a bunch of those celebrities were at a table, hacking away at a huge chunk of meat on a bone. No, really. Ethan Hawke had a meat cleaver. I don’t know know why. On my way to the bathroom, Aubrey Reuben told me I had a great rack. Aubrey, we’ve been at the same parties for years and it took you this long to notice my rack?! Aubrey wanted my business card, but all I had on me was a vondom [von Hottie condom], so I gave him that. I figured the night couldn’t get any weirder, but then Ethan Hawke went outside for a smoke and started rapping with a homeless man. And then Chris Noth showed up. And then the FDNY arrived. And we were drinking free, unlimited champagne. And then I was pretty sure I was smack dab in the middle of The Rapture.
Video posted at 19:33
