I’ve Never Been In A Relationship On February 14th, But I Am Totally Pro-Valentine’s Day
Below is my annual Valentine’s Day post, plus a bonus video and a special invitation to my Valentine’s Day party!
Valentine’s Day is the time of the year when the entire world looks just the way I want it to: covered in red, pink, hearts, glitter and candy, but that’s not the reason why I’m all about it.
You’d think from the aisles of Kmart that Valentine’s Day is like setting up a shrine in your parking space: Yay, I found one! Put some pink cellophane on it so everyone knows it’s mine!
I’m of the third-grade school of Valentine’s Day, when you gave a carefully decorated piece of construction paper to each and every person in your class. No one was left out, and you couldn’t play favorites or everyone would know who your crush was and you’d die of embarrassment. Everyone celebrated together, everyone ate too much drugstore chocolate, and everyone was told “U R SWEET.”
Valentine’s Day is not about whether or not you have a significant other or at least someone who’ll text you “happy vday ;)” at 3 a.m. It’s not a competition against the haves (lovers) and the have-nots (not even a f**k buddy). Valentine’s Day is not stupid or depressing, because Valentine’s Day is not about you.
That’s right, I said it. IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU. It’s about them. It’s about reminding yourself to show the special people in your life how much you care. It’s about throwing your arms wide open enough so your whole world can fit in there. It’s about letting your BFF have the first pick in the assorted pack of candy bars (which you trekked to three different stores to purchase, ahem, Sassletic). It’s about spontaneously holding your neighbor’s hand during a lying twist. It’s about calling your sister, drawing a heart on your co-worker’s Post-It notes, and ordering your friend a martini before she arrives at the bar because you could tell from her Facebook status that she was going to need it. Even if your dad is the only person who sends you flowers, hello, your dad sent you flowers!!! We all have someone out there who loves us, and Valentine’s Day is about remembering to say it back.
This Valentine’s Day, I challenge you to drop your overly commercial expectations of the holiday and spend it thinking about and talking to the people you love, whomever and wherever they are. Regardless of your romantic situation, I challenge you, as Elizabeth Barrett Browning wrote, to love “to the depth and breadth and height [your] soul can reach.”
In case you don’t hear it enough this weekend, I’ll say it: I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you.
Come to my party and I’ll say it in person.
(Updated and revised from original post on Social Workout.)
BONUS VIDEO How to do Valentine’s Day, by Flaming Mermaid Broken Star
For more deep thoughts, and lots of glitter and love:
Big news! My friends, Shameless Photography, will now have a studio in New York FULL TIME! I absolutely loved my session with them (they made me into mermaid pinup, hello!). See all my creamy, sparkly, glossy, glam lusciousness? They made me look like that! I just brought the va-va and they made it VOOOOM!
If you want pictures of yourself looking as gorgeous, confident, cheeky and glamorous as you truly are, get on their waitlist today! You’re worth it!
**Email firstname.lastname@example.org to get on the waitlist. Yes, they haven’t even started yet and there’s already a wait list. Don’t be discouraged - it just gives you more time to shop for your pretty picture shoes.**
It’s important to visualize your goals. This here, this is my goal.
Hula-Hooping + Shake Weights + Sally Field’s Monologue from Steel Magnolias = Living The Dream
I am available to perform this piece, anytime, anywhere.
I’m on TV!
Toni On! New York came to film one of my aerial silks classes a few months ago. You can see me on the silks (wearing green) starting at about 1:15. Now I’m famous for fitness!
My annual re-posting of my favorite post about my favorite holiday
How many pushups can you do in one minute?
Inspired by a one-minute challenge posted on FitSugar.com, I decided to film myself doing as many pushups as I could in one minute. My final count was 30-ish, and it was harder than I thought. Also, it made me realize that I am totally unmotivated to do pushups unless I am in the company of my trainer, or on camera. I invite you to take the same challenge, and post your pushup count and/or a video on Social Workout. We even have a nifty goal, created just for this purpose!
p.s. We’re not affiliated with FitSugar, or their giveaway contest, but if you do post your pushup count on Social Workout, you should also post it on FitSugar. There are neat prizes at stake, and I think you guys deserve all the finer things in life.
p.p.s. My form was terrible, but my outfit was awesome, and that’s what really counts!
p.p.p.s. This morning I did 60 pushups with Buffin, my trainer. I wore these pants and these legwarmers just for him.
I Got My seatbelt On! Safety First!
Last Friday was a huge triumph for the Silk Road challenges. I successfully pulled off a “seatbelt” drop. It’s the kind of advanced move I thought I’d be able to pull off by the end of my first year of training, but, uh….actually it took me 2.5 years. No matter! As they say in the biz, overnight success takes at least fifteen years. Let’s just recap the strength benchmarks necessary to pull of this move:
1) Climb high. CHECK!
2) Butt over head, while in the air, no footlocks, using only my arms and abs. CHECK!
3) Hold my body weight with my legs while I wrap the silks around my weight. CHECK!
5) Don’t freak out, fall backwards, and catch my weight with my knees CHECK!
6) Pull myself back up, let the silks fall off, hold my weight in my arms, and wrap to stand, without falling back down to the ground. CHECK! CHECK! CHECK! CHECK INFINITY!!!
Oh yeah…and then after that, I did a sick iron cross, and a really high crossback straddle. I would pretend to be humble about all that, but I’m too busy being awesome.
(Naughty Flog: I mean, after all that work, I think everything should fall under the “rewards” category, not the “naughty” category, but here goes: I split a delicious bowl of mac & cheese, ate two freshly made cinnamon donut holes, and drank 3 glasses of prosecco. I regret nothing.)
This subject is old but I have never answered it in its entirety. And even with this post it will remain incomplete.
The question why I would LET Willow cut her hair. First the LET must be challenged. This is a world where women, girls are constantly reminded that they don’t belong to themselves; that their bodies are not their own, nor their power, or self determination. I made a promise to endow my little girl with the power to always know that her body, spirit, and her mind are HER domain. Willow cut her hair because her beauty, her value, her worth is not measured by the length of her hair. It’s also a statement that claims that even little girls have the RIGHT to own themselves and should not be a slave to even their mother’s deepest insecurities, hopes, and desires. Even little girls should not be a slave to the preconceived ideas of what a culture believes a little girl should be. More to come. Another day.„
Jada Pinkett Smith wins this week’s von Hottness award.
“Glitter is good. Glitter is great. Glitter helps me lift more weight!” ~ Sarah Robles