von Hottie: The Blog

05/12/2011

“ Champagne, if you are seeking the truth, is better than a lie detector. It encourages a man to be expansive, even reckless, while lie detectors are only a challenge to tell lies successfully. „

Graham Greene

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27/10/2011

If you need a costume idea, I suggest Zombie von Hottie.

Wear a bathing suit, pearls, blood and stumble around muttering, “Champ-braaaaaaaiiinnns.”

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26/07/2011

“ Perseverance is 90% of my success, and the rest is finding the right people to help you throw your butt over your head. „

10.5 months into The Silk Road. An ode to my aerial silks guru, my belovèd Heather. (via thefamouschronicles)

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thefamouschronicles:

via turnabout:
NEED! I NEED! Miss Piggy’s Twitter, by the way, is the most genius thing ever.

thefamouschronicles:

via turnabout:

NEED! I NEED! Miss Piggy’s Twitter, by the way, is the most genius thing ever.

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24/06/2011

The Silk Road - Chapter 8.

Building aerial sequences.

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12/06/2011

I’m giving an aerial silks recital in September.

What song should I use in my performance - all genres welcome?

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thefamouschronicles:

My favorite yoga teacher looks hot at the Tony Awards. Alec Baldwin is not my yoga teacher.

thefamouschronicles:

My favorite yoga teacher looks hot at the Tony Awards. Alec Baldwin is not my yoga teacher.

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08/06/2011

The Silk Road - Chapter 8

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02/06/2011

Month 8: The Silk Road. 
Photograped at The Art of Fitness in Astoria

Month 8: The Silk Road

Photograped at The Art of Fitness in Astoria

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01/06/2011

In honor of Marilyn Monroe’s birthday, I present to you her workout routine, as told to Pageant Magazine in 1952. If only Marilyn were still alive. We could tra-la-la down The Silk Road together.

In honor of Marilyn Monroe’s birthday, I present to you her workout routine, as told to Pageant Magazine in 1952. If only Marilyn were still alive. We could tra-la-la down The Silk Road together.

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28/05/2011

You should go to the Brewers PicNYC on Governor’s Island on Sunday and Monday. von Hottie will be there with her Station of Awesome on Sunday. Drop by for a photo with the traveling von Hottie cutout. Mention that you saw this on Tumblr and I’ll give you an extra vondom. Love, von Hottie.

You should go to the Brewers PicNYC on Governor’s Island on Sunday and Monday. von Hottie will be there with her Station of Awesome on Sunday. Drop by for a photo with the traveling von Hottie cutout. Mention that you saw this on Tumblr and I’ll give you an extra vondom. Love, von Hottie.

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25/05/2011

My new trick for getting myself to do things I don’t want to do:

Put the word “champagne” next to it. See: Take vitamins champagne, bedtime champagne, pay bills champagne, don’t order another glass of champagne champagne….

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20/05/2011

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Just another night in the life of Her Royal von Hottness.

thefamouschronicles:

Last night, I went to the Public Theater’s opening night party for Knickerbocker, which was, big surprise, at Knickerbocker. There were weird hors d’oeuvres that were foie gras wrapped in cotton candy and a huge celebrity clusterfuck, including Sarah Jessica Parker(!!), Marisa Tomei, Julianna Margulies, Josh Hamilton, Josh Charles, Martha Plimpton, Paul Dano, Amanda Peet, Peter Dinklage, Liev Schreiber and Naomi Watts. At some point, a bunch of those celebrities were at a table, hacking away at a huge chunk of meat on a bone. No, really. Ethan Hawke had a meat cleaver. I don’t know know why. On my way to the bathroom, Aubrey Reuben told me I had a great rack. Aubrey, we’ve been at the same parties for years and it took you this long to notice my rack?! Aubrey wanted my business card, but all I had on me was a vondom [von Hottie condom], so I gave him that. I figured the night couldn’t get any weirder, but then Ethan Hawke went outside for a smoke and started rapping with a homeless man. And then Chris Noth showed up. And then the FDNY arrived. And we were drinking free, unlimited champagne. And then I was pretty sure I was smack dab in the middle of The Rapture.

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